The Tale Of A Former Sluggard

I had forgotten a few things; I had forgotten how to play, how to laugh simply because I can. I had forgotten.  I have been living in some kind of in-between universe, where I am waiting for life to happen to me, somebody to make a decision for me. 

It is easy to look at, point at, bleed for, somebody else when your own life is in a mess; I call those ostrich moments. I have had a couple of those lately, in fact for most of my life; blamed failure on pressure from those around me (believe me, it is a valid reason, pressure does have the ability to suck you dry), in that way, each time I felt even a little pressured, I gave up without a fight. It is a bit like giving up on a race simply because you have seen somebody run past you…

Anyway, most of you are not like me; no, you have always been hard workers; so let me share from my own experience. Perhaps you will understand where I am.

God is good. Always. That said I am still understanding some of these truths, how I come into the bigger picture, how I fit in. I think one of my biggest questions is why I was born into such a competitive era; I could work with a simple arranged marriage, an existence of farming my man’s lands, or better yet, being a kept woman. 

He must have known I would totally love the technology and the clothes and the quirky people around me. Anyway, back to the story of my laziness; I would much rather have things happen to me, sit on the throne of the complainer and simply appreciate life. 

Something my friend Mire keeps saying “He is committed to our development”, so when I started on the path of salvation, I gave up the role of a sluggard. The more I learned of Him, of life with Him, the harder I worked. The more I desired to work for Him, the greater the need to get up and get moving.

Contradictory scripture for you “Come unto me all ye who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart; and you shall find rest unto your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29)

Now, I wanted the rest, none of this yoke carrying, none of this hard labor. Only the rest. But see, I wanted the healing, deliverance, and success that came with the Salvation package. Then there I am being told I have to prove myself a good work man, and I have to walk around donning armor…

Geez, there goes my rest. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, but now that I am a MAN, I have to put away childish things… Which pretty much means decisions, hard work, and responsibility; BUT also the freedom and multiplication of my domain, reaching the people that my heart so desires to bless.

I have been thinking the past few weeks, (and I would like to thank you for being part of this journey), oh yes, I have been thinking and I think creation has held its breathe long enough.

It is time for me to be revealed, to be unleashed upon the world. See, there are some things we will get to talk about, things whose existence in your life you would much rather deny. Of course you are happy; you are your very own higher power… This weakling will be sharing with you, oh mighty one, her journey with the Creator God, aka I AM.