It is time...

It is time...

A very ominous-sounding statement, no?

I simply meant to say, 

I am ready...

To write again.

To tell stories... again.

To dream... again.

To simply write... again.

It has been a while.

A long while...

...of writing on demand

...of living in terror of judgement.

What if...

...it doesn't sound right.

...it isn't arranged right.

WHAT IF IT OFFENDS!!!

All those intellectuals staring at their screens...

Wapi!! I jam! 

I would say bite me, naye such an unhealthy hobby should not be encouraged.

Let's fuel this fire, yes?

You know, that fire that you feel as you type out something

... scribble down something that is uniquely you...

Kinda like wearing n-colors in the season of greys and browns...

... a bit like dancing to a tune in your head.

... or dancing imperfectly with joyful abandon.

Wamma let us dance to this tune.

You are welcome to watch.

You are welcome to like...

You are welcome to admit...

You want to join me o_0

Wamma come...

Photo Credits: Lin Fan
Location: Luodai, Sichuan, China.

Petrified

Have you ever:

Got what you thought you wanted…

Found you are terrified of it?

Well, I have.

Be it a new friend, lots of money, that dude I thought would complete me, that perfect job…

I get literally, petrified with the fear that;

I just might mess it up. In fact, I am sure I will mess it up.

As I stand still I recall my past responses;

Denial: no, I do not want it. It is ok, in fact, I never wanted it.

Doubt: is this what I really wanted, maybe I just worked myself into lather over nothing.

Unworthy: me? No, they would never have me. Why me?

Disbelief: this is too good to be true.

Let’s back out of this now!

As I go along with life and I have encountered things I clearly do not deserve like salvation and grace…

Well, these other things seem trivial in comparison. If I managed to qualify (through my extreme inability to qualify) for a life in salvation, well then I guess I have a pass to every single thing I thought I did not deserve.

I walk with assurance that my Father, God has got me and He will fix it if I mess it up…

Now I run forward to those things I once held back from:

He qualifies me.

He is my advocate.

He makes me worthy.

He is the lifter of my head.

 

Image from:  www.markramseymedia.com

Skeletons

We keep silent because we are afraid… scratch that: I keep silent because I am afraid.  Afraid that if you saw my heart you would not stay that if you saw me… You would run off screaming.

I want to write literary works of art, which everybody reads and is blown away by awesomeness. Here goes; I am not always awesome.

Today I was with a group of friends and one of my girls shared how she felt unworthy because her life was not where she wanted it to be… I have felt unworthy.

Unworthy to speak into anybody’s life, to comfort, encourage, admonish… my life was simply not in order. But if I forgot that, ignored my failures, my closet full of Ezekiel’s skeletons… 

This is what I would say.

There is hope. Hope after every hurt: self-inflicted, inflicted by others or whatever comes in-between… 

There is hope. Hope after you have messed up every single thing you touch; relationships, projects, dreams…

There is hope. Hope after your worst nightmare proves to be a wide-awake moment. After what is precious is taken from you.

There is hope. Let me show you where you can find it… Follow me.

“He sent me to give the good news to the poor. Tell prisoners that they are prisoners no more. Tell blind people that they can see. And set the downtrodden free.” Luke 4:18

Let me show you which part speaks to you: 

Are you poor?

Financially, emotionally, intellectually, physically… you are simply inadequate?

Are you a prisoner?

Of your past, your failures, your experiences, others’ experiences, your fears, the unknown, your addictions…

Are you blind?

Unseeing of the beauty of life, hopeless, with darkened visage and bleak future… even physically blind?

Are you downtrodden?

By life, friends, family, insecurity… held down so close to the ground you see nothing else?

Well, right here is your good news, your hope.

“In Him we live and move and have our being…” Acts 17:28 “Behold the old has gone all things have been made new…” 2 Corinthians 5:17

With these few things I declare you free and myself worthy to speak peace into your life. I am not better than you… I have simply accepted my inheritance.