Give me words to speak

I have been learning about Intimacy with God, and with those around me. I know that usually my mind would immediately think of physical intimacy, but i am learning that it goes beyond that. True intimacy is letting those you claim to love see you. The real you, with your dreams, both profound and silly; it is to allow them to see your fears, your hopes... It is to let them see your heart.

With God, my Heavenly Father, whom I love, it was even more complicated, because after all, doesn't He know my heart, my thoughts, my end from my beginning?

Think about it, how many times do we approach Father with polished prayers, saying prayers that are just so, hiding our hearts from Him? Of course you do not do that; but I find myself lying to Him. Telling Him all is well when it is far from it. In His presence I chose denial to mean trust and faith.  

The more I look at relationships around me and think how I would like to improve them, I think of my relationship with Father, perhaps He too would love to get to know me. Yes, as more than the child who runs over asks for something, says thank you if I receive a favorable answer and sulk when I do not get my way. He wants to know me as a friend.Trusting Him will mean for me to believe that He takes no pleasure in my suffering, He is not like that. He gives me good and perfect things. Every. Single. Time.

Right now, I am believing and trusting for something but I should confess that during this time, I have oscillated between fear that he will say different and hope that he will give me what I hope for.

I find myself wanting this so bad that perhaps I fear He will say No.

I hope that you will go on this journey with me:

As I learn to share my heart with he whom my heart, mind and soul love.

As I learn that He longs to spend time with me, not watching me run around doing things to please Him, but have quality time with Him. I believe my Beloved has all five love languages :)

He longs to touch and be touched; He longs to spend quality time with me; He longs to hear and speak words of appreciation from and to me. He longs to have me give Him small gifts, even as He does the same for me and He longs to do acts of kindness for me, even as He hopes I will respond in kind.