When the grading system is flawed.

 I had a conversation about life and you know what, I think let me tell this story as a conversation...

Me: the more i observe people, the more i realise that all the things we stress about aint that important

we make the rules

we make the policies

we choose the way things are run

we choose to follow someone else's vision or method

right or not

thereby suppressing our own

even if they are wrong and we are
right

we conform

we fear to differ

isn't that why the world chases after careers?

because the definition of success and fulfillment has been written down and issued

same way beauty has been defined and we run ourselves dogged getting into the perceived shape of perfection

that terror breaks a man

we were not created to conform

and we lose ourselves when we do

apparently it is meant to make us live better in society

My Friend:  blog!

i know...

Me: but if society's definitions keep changing like the seasons do we stand a chance?

its like having that figure that awards marks but keeps changing the grading system

surely it is all vanity

Me: went all philosophical on u 

My friend: but i agree

that is why i think marks should only be accepted if they come from God

and should only be internalised when you know truly....that is true to you

Me: the devil is a liar

and he does not care a whit about those he uses

the things of this world change according to his strategy

woe to those who chase after them

they are fated to be hamsters

Success, as defined by the world is like writing my name in the sand; one moment it is there....

Me: were u suggesting i blog this?

it doesnt sound too angry? 

My Friend: no......i think you were asking questions every human being struggles with from time to time

you dint sound angry...you sounded frustrated but amused also

Me: the frustration comes from knowing that conforming is tempting

it is considered prudent

applauded even

and you are afraid

of never being applauded or recognized a success.

so if you are a singer you change your instinctive facial expression to match the face of success

My Friend: but i wont be used......that is something that i have agreed with myself....some people are perpetual takers......

never giving back....

nedda

i stay away from such succubi

and if i can't...i go above or below or whatever. Some people drain the life from you.

Me: yep

they do

Me: ah, praise God for salvation

Me: ah all is well

thanx for talking

i feel like i have finally started walking in the authority I was given

I believe it also involves recognising when you refuse to be used as a doormat

btw

may I blog this conversation?

THEN...

we went on to talk about... STUFF. My Friend and I.

...and the next it is gone. Washed away with the tide of trend and ever changing human whim.

 Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga. Luzhou, Sichuan Province. China

Quotes: Edith Namuganga

 

It is time...

It is time...

A very ominous-sounding statement, no?

I simply meant to say, 

I am ready...

To write again.

To tell stories... again.

To dream... again.

To simply write... again.

It has been a while.

A long while...

...of writing on demand

...of living in terror of judgement.

What if...

...it doesn't sound right.

...it isn't arranged right.

WHAT IF IT OFFENDS!!!

All those intellectuals staring at their screens...

Wapi!! I jam! 

I would say bite me, naye such an unhealthy hobby should not be encouraged.

Let's fuel this fire, yes?

You know, that fire that you feel as you type out something

... scribble down something that is uniquely you...

Kinda like wearing n-colors in the season of greys and browns...

... a bit like dancing to a tune in your head.

... or dancing imperfectly with joyful abandon.

Wamma let us dance to this tune.

You are welcome to watch.

You are welcome to like...

You are welcome to admit...

You want to join me o_0

Wamma come...

Photo Credits: Lin Fan
Location: Luodai, Sichuan, China.

As the Harmonica plays...

The harmonica is playing.
It is framing my thoughts.
Although it provides a melancholy twist to the air,
It is still a musical background to my thoughts...

"He plays the harmonica quite well." my mind comments to itself.
The other part of my mind is absorbed in wonder.
And singing a song of a completely different tempo.

The song is; " I am not forgotten"

My big brother wrote me an email.
And in it was a reminder that I am loved.

No, wait!

Yes, my big brother loves me.

The contents of his email were the reminder:

They spoke of Jehovah El Shaddai.
My daddy, the one with so many names.
The One who is teaching me what life with a father is like.

I do have an earthly father, but I did not get much time with him growing up.
And I guess the years of separation affect how close and how open you can get...
But as I get to know this Father, I have come to love that father even more...
Let me share what my big brother shared:

He wrote:

El Shaddai means:

1.    The All Sufficient One.

2.   God Almighty (In English language).

3.   He Heaps Benefits.

4.   He Pours out Blessings.

5.   He Abundantly Blesses with all manner of blessings ( health,favour,love,joy,peace,patience,kindness,goodness,faithfulness,gentleness, self-control, forgiveness name it).

6.   The All Sufficient Sustainer.

7.   One who Satisfies( am reminded of the song that with long life, He will satisfy me, He will satisfy me…..Only You can satisfy)

8.   One who Supplies.

9.   One who Nourishes.

May the LORD El Shaddai watch over you, reveal Himself and constantly assure you that you’re right in His safest hands ever.

And as tears crept into my eyes and flowed down my face, I have been reminded.
He is right here and he is watching over me.

1 Peter 5:7Amplified Bible (AMP)

⁷ Casting the ^[a]whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, ^[b]once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you ^[c]watchfully.

Of Visions and Dreams

I had a vision of my life 

I saw a lovely sight that warmed my heart.
I had a dream of my future 
It had you in it.

I had a hope for my life,
A hope that held you with it.
I had a hope, and I held it close.

I had a vision
You too had a vision
I was not in it.

Edith

Beautiful and Empty

Any form of disagreement is hard to take.
Sometimes, it makes you feel broken.
A little dead on the inside.
At least that is what I thought I felt...
But...

I subscribe to a different law.
So I do not mourn as one without hope.
My end was written from the beginning and it is beautiful...

I am persuaded. Fully persuaded.

Romans 8:38-39.

Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga

Living excellently.

Living excellently.

Excerpt from Promises for your everyday life, a daily devotional. ~Joyce Meyer
Pursue the Excellence of Daniel (Daniel 6:3)

"Daniel is a man in the Bible who is described as having an 'excellent spirit.' He lived to glorify God with his life, no matter what it cost him. I want to encourage you to live with that same excellent spirit. Be determined to really live for God. As you do, you'll fulfill your true purpose and glorify God in everything you do, just like Daniel."

Short Prayer:  

I know you are making me. At every turn, you give me instructions for my next step.
My author and perfecter. The one who never sleeps nor slumbers. I hand over control.

Growing in you... at Kwagalakwe Farm

 Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga

Looking for his opinion in the Word

Looking for his opinion in the Word

The word is alive

Excerpt from Promises for your everyday life, a daily devotional by Joyce Meyer

Find the Answers and Power You Need in the Word (Hebrews4:12)

"If you can't think of anything right away, thumb through the concordance and pick a subject that grabs your attention. Begin looking at all scriptures referenced with this word and read them. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you and reveal truth to you. No matter where you start, remember that the Word is alive and has something for you today!"

I have been frozen in place many times, terrified of making the wrong decision or making a choice outside God's will for me. But you know what, Philemon 1:6 says I need to acknowledge (take notice of and admit the presence of) certain gifts, skills, strengths... from God that we know we haven't worked on or think we do not deserve.  He has given them to you, stop thinking you need to work on something a bit more to get there. If he says it is there, then it is. 

Examples; "by His stripes you were healed" note the tense; "you have the mind of Christ" again, note the tense; "the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in you" again, observe the tense. 

Maybe it is our cause-effect way of thinking, maybe it is what we have been taught, maybe, maybe... whatever it is, we are asked to discard it and simply receive... 

 

Note to self: Reading the word to learn his opinion about my specific situation is a great way to make decisions.

Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga

Celebrating the gift of a new day

Celebrating the gift of a new day

Psalm 118: 24

"This is the day you've made, and I will rejoice and be glad..."

In the past I used to think I could only be happy if and only if every area of my life was in order. So I would fret over one thing, as soon as that was resolved, I would pick up the next thing in line and so on...

My joy is not tied to the events or lack thereof in my life. For some people they would rush in and call this denial and I would respectfully ask them to be calm.

Excerpt from today's devotional reading.

Every Day Is a New Day~~Joyce Meyer (Promises for your everyday life, a daily devotional)

"God wants us to have joy in the midst of our ordinary, everyday life, even on the worst days of our life... I was so wrapped up in worry that I was missing the point: God had created a new day, and He created it so that I could enjoy it."

Something for you to think about:

You have, for all these years, been realistic, acknowledged and mourned over every miserable event, every challenge, every loss and every fear that you have faced. What has it given you? Oh? You are well grounded. Ok.

I get why facing one's fear can be helpful, but inviting it in to live, simply because it exists, no.  Matthew 6:25-34 asks me not to worry. In fact it challenges me.

To worry has become instinctive because it has been touted as a sign of taking responsibility. But has worrying ever payed the bill? No! I still had to clearly think to find a way to make money to pay that bill.

Anyway, I have justified my worry so many times and it honestly made me feel like I was doing something about my situation. I was talking to a friend, she was concerned about her relationship, scared it would go the way of the failed relationships in her past and that she had seen her friends have. I dared her to rest in the promises of God. After all, we all know worrying doesn't a good relationship make.

Every fear that rears its head at me, I look it in the eye, and remind it of these promises. God does keep his word. In that I can rest and not have to carry the load of my fears on my face as a sign of being realistic.

So today, and every day from today, let us wake up every day at peace and celebrating the gift of a new day. Because trust me, at the least you will see a lovely person who will make you smile.

Everyday is a new day.... Boma, Fort Portal, Uganda

Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga

Sailing through the storm

Sailing through the storm

I am currently reading Joyce Meyer's Promises of Everyday Life devotion, I thought I would share what i have been learning with you :)

I am going to leave out her notes and simply share mine, feel free to subscribe for the devotional and read it with me. It has some great thought starters.

I will share what I learned today. I would like to point out, that as you read the word, be expectant. Know with certainty the the word will be relevant and be of use to rebuke, correct and  encourage.

Dealing with Emotions While Grieving ~Joyce Meyer

Bible reference Psalm 42:5

"The Bible talks of how King David was feeling depressed but he resisted it. He didn't sink into it or get into the pit of despair. He described how he felt, but he made a decision not to live by his feelings. He praised and trusted in God."

My Notes:

Right now, I am learning to simply look pain in the eye and tell it my father is faithful to his word. Joy will come in the morning, just like he said. And he will hold me through the night.
Many times we assume that Psalm 30: 5 “sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning” means we will be going through hard times alone, with God waiting for us at the end of the tunnel. His word says that Psalm 23:4 “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and staff they comfort me” Even when we are wrong and it's clearly our fault, he guides us out.
Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good for them who love the Lord, for those who are called according to his purpose”
Allow yourself to be guided by his Spirit, through life, or the minefields of your own mistakes. He is faithful to his word.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you whithersoever thous goest”

Key word: Whithersoever.

Khaya iBhubesi, Parys Free State, South Africa

 Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga

My beloved

I have been learning to listen to God and trust that I hear him, but recently, I have been doubting my hearing. My fear of being wrong was so overwhelming, I refused to be comforted or listen to him anymore, but did he cease to speak to me? Did his words fall out of sync with my life? No, not even once. I was asking if he was even with me as I stressed about money for winter clothes, how I would survive, food, new phone, fellowship of believers and the whole day... this is all he had to say to me.

Joshua 1:9

Today, I woke up thinking about exercise and how unfit I am... And refused to exercise. Guess what? That is exactly what He and I talked about today.

My fears,

Tell me my beloved is not relevant in this situation!

Tell me my father is not bothered by my fears!

Tell me I have been left alone to my own clumsy strength!

I dare you to tell me I have been forgotten, 'cause I am itching to throw your taunts back in your face!

I am my beloved's and he is mine.

Letting people BE

Hey all,

I have been silent over the last few months.
But have had quite a number of lessons during that time.
I promise to share from those lessons as time goes on, but today, let me share my most recent learning.

While I was away (read offline), I made a new friend, pretty cool friend. Also great news given that at some point last year I was convinced that I wouldn't make any new friends. Mostly because I was afraid. But that is a story for another day.

So, yesterday evening I got to hangout with this cool person for a few hours, but they were not feeling so great. You know that feeling when somebody is not there because they are preoccupied? Yeah, like that. After a couple of tries, I decided to let it go and just hangout in silence.

In the silent silence...

Why didn't I do that in the first place? This person is anything but silent, if it is not a song, it's probably a funny anecdote. Even in the silence, there is a feeling of an ongoing conversation.

I don't know about you, but silent silences drive me crazy and at some point they become about me; Why aren't they talking to me, did I do something? Did I say something? Can I ask? What if I make them mad? So many questions, until I have worked myself into a full-blown worrier state.

Anyhow, bottom-line is, I did not handle it so well. I totally made it about myself and felt horrible at the end of the day.

This morning, on my way to work, as I was praying in tongues, trying to get myself into the right mood for the day, I realised something.

It is important for me to allow my friends to be. To just BE. And that is all-encompassing. That includes when they are humming and fun and also when they are silent and brooding. That I allow a person to be themselves with me, even if it is not their most charming self.

If I continue down the path of; talk to me, is it me... nag, nag, nag. Then I close off a part of them. They will only show me the happy side or pretend, just to avoid the hassle of explaining their black mood. And that would be a shame. A big shame. 

And that is my lesson for the week, maybe for the day. But it is important and I felt I should share as we go on this journey together. We are being perfected in every area of our lives; finances, ministry, relationships, health... every single aspect.

The cloud does not negate the existence of the sun...

 Quotes and Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga

 

Kwagalakwe Farm

Recently, I took up farming. Yes, you heard right... FARMING!
Now, as a novice, originally trained in engineering and only aware of mud and water, I should be terrified. Instead, I am excited.
As I build from my backyard garden to my dream farm, I am going to share my experiences, questions, concerns and lessons.
Will also add some pictures as we grow...

Kwagalakwe - His Love