Letting people BE

Hey all,

I have been silent over the last few months.
But have had quite a number of lessons during that time.
I promise to share from those lessons as time goes on, but today, let me share my most recent learning.

While I was away (read offline), I made a new friend, pretty cool friend. Also great news given that at some point last year I was convinced that I wouldn't make any new friends. Mostly because I was afraid. But that is a story for another day.

So, yesterday evening I got to hangout with this cool person for a few hours, but they were not feeling so great. You know that feeling when somebody is not there because they are preoccupied? Yeah, like that. After a couple of tries, I decided to let it go and just hangout in silence.

In the silent silence...

Why didn't I do that in the first place? This person is anything but silent, if it is not a song, it's probably a funny anecdote. Even in the silence, there is a feeling of an ongoing conversation.

I don't know about you, but silent silences drive me crazy and at some point they become about me; Why aren't they talking to me, did I do something? Did I say something? Can I ask? What if I make them mad? So many questions, until I have worked myself into a full-blown worrier state.

Anyhow, bottom-line is, I did not handle it so well. I totally made it about myself and felt horrible at the end of the day.

This morning, on my way to work, as I was praying in tongues, trying to get myself into the right mood for the day, I realised something.

It is important for me to allow my friends to be. To just BE. And that is all-encompassing. That includes when they are humming and fun and also when they are silent and brooding. That I allow a person to be themselves with me, even if it is not their most charming self.

If I continue down the path of; talk to me, is it me... nag, nag, nag. Then I close off a part of them. They will only show me the happy side or pretend, just to avoid the hassle of explaining their black mood. And that would be a shame. A big shame. 

And that is my lesson for the week, maybe for the day. But it is important and I felt I should share as we go on this journey together. We are being perfected in every area of our lives; finances, ministry, relationships, health... every single aspect.

The cloud does not negate the existence of the sun...

 Quotes and Photo Credits: Edith Namuganga