Show
me how to love;
I
haven’t been making many friends recently; I seem to have a tendency of
bringing up things people would much rather hide, ignore…
Act
like nothing happened.
The
first time that happened, I was 18 and I felt the leading to speak about
abstinence, waiting for a spouse and a relationship sanctioned before God… I
got a thundering silence.
I
got the feeling that all my words were being cut out of my audience’s minds;
clearly I was not saying cool stuff.
In
a society where sex is considered sin, until you find the “one” in which case
we can ignore all the sin and proceed with the happy event, in or out of
marriage.
As
I decided to cut my talk short that afternoon; I consulted with God and pleaded
with Him not to give me any more impressions to speak on unsavory topics…
Until
recently.
I
have been learning about immediate obedience and listening for the Spirit’s
leading in my life… As promised, if you are listening, you WILL hear…. And I
heard.
Heard
Him asking me to speak on another unsavory topic; I thought we had understood
each other the first time round… clearly not.
This
time I had to talk about truthful relationships, intimate relationships; beyond
lying to each other, hiding our true feeling behind smiles and sermons.
We
have had a season where we are being taught about “doing life together” and you
know what, the prospect of pretending for the duration of that life was simply
beyond consideration.
To
watch people lie to each other “in love” and to be asked to contribute to this
farce…
I
have made no friends.
I
refuse to countenance duplicity; relationships which are so superficial they
have no roots to them. We only choose to go as deep as we are comfortable. An
imitation, a resemblance of Christ-like love without the sacrifice… Anything
outside this, no, let us walk away. Let us not deal. Lest we actually have to
communicate for once in this game we have made of life.
My
mind screamed vanity! VANITY!!
I
want to make friends, so if I blend in, act like I am not bothered, perhaps
this need for truth, this desire to deal and make whole… Perhaps it would let
me alone. It did not.
Here
I am once again, not making any friends; because I simply cannot, will not,
conform to these standards…
There
must be more than this.
My
Father calls me to intimacy; where I will speak my heart and mind to Him, where
He protects my feelings and sees me. All of me.
He
calls us to the same intimacy with each other…
When
God called Adam, “Adam, where are you?” and Adam replies something like “…back
here coz we realized we were naked…” that must be where walls were born.
Walls
between man and God; Walls between man and man… It went beyond our nakedness to
who we were; our spirits lost that intimate contact.
We
are called back to that intimate contact, that fellowship that goes beyond
politically correct niceties. Ever wondered why we are asked over and over to
love one another? To extend God’s love to each other?
I
will let you think on that; think on the kind of love he calls you to with
himself and then let me know how he calls you to love those you are “doing
life” with.
I
may not have received this revelation in full… but you and I both know
duplicity is not our portion. We are called to greater; in every single way.
Let
me say what doing life together means to my simple mind, which is the mind of
Christ, might I add…
To
love/do life together means;
- To care enough to stay, even when you do not have all the answers.
- To seek to understand what lies behind those walls.
- To seek to protect, with the same vigilance, that which the other protects behind those walls.
- To uproot those things that would choke life out of the one you love, even when they may not thank you for it.
- To hope all things
- To believe all things
Do
not get me wrong; I do not say you condone sin where it is, neither am I saying
you beat the one you love with rebuke at every opportunity.
No,
love is gracious.
To
be gracious is not so much about the tone of voice, but in the intention, the
choice of timing, audience, and phrasing…
To
love is to protect that which your beloved treasures.
It
is to cover a multitude of sin; that means not broadcasting one another’s
weaknesses in the name of testimony or prayer requests. It means that even if
it would be the perfect analogy for a much needed sermon, you seek permission
and if it is denied, you protect that privacy.
It
means to close ranks about your beloved and protect them from condemnation,
even your own. Especially your own.
There
must be more than this… It is called love.
A lifetime of exposure to human beings trying to love does things to you.
ReplyDeleteWe have resorted to walls as a defense mechanism, a reflex to protect or to mask. And we have worn masks for so long, one to the world and one to ourselves that we have forgotten which is which, and assume they are all necessary for our existence.
The masks, walls, lies are all born out of fear. A lot of other reasons exist but the most basic probably is fear. Would they still love us if we were different?. Who cares about the ones we don't care about?. Their opinions don't matter to us, it's the ones we love. They're the ones we worry about. They're the enemy.
Would they still love us if they knew?. About Clark Kent, the scared kid in the closet hiding behind Superman?. Would they look at us the same if they knew how weak we really were?
So we lie, to see them smile. Looking in the mirror, seeing the fear in our own eyes we lie even more, maybe saying it out loud would make it go away. Make us stronger.
Tired of trying, we learn from the author of love. And from the overflowing cup of his love we give to others. We learn a new standard, a new way to be human.
But they look at you strange, confronted by the oddity of love God's way, un-nerved by your lack of an ulterior motive.
Hopefully there are other times the strange look is different, a look of recognition when you have found those like you.
Either way we are all just amateur lovers
I choose to walk this road even if it may look lonely... He says he will walk with me the whole way, even carry you through some of the journey... I believe God does bring those who are learning to love like Him into your life, I have experienced it... So do you I am certain.
ReplyDelete